It’s a bittersweet reality for many parents in Dubai: your child runs into the arms of the nanny first, not you. You’re happy they love her, but there’s a sting of guilt, maybe even jealousy. If you’re feeling this way, you’re not alone—and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
Having a trusted nanny is a gift, but what happens when the attachment becomes too intense? In this article, we’ll explore how to manage this dynamic, how to set healthy emotional boundaries, and how to maintain a loving bond with your child.
Understanding the Bond Between Nanny and Child
Many nannies in Dubai are live-in or spend long hours with children daily. Naturally, this leads to strong emotional bonds. Your child may see their nanny as a constant source of comfort, especially when you're away at work.
This bond is not a threat—it's evidence of a nurturing caregiver and a secure attachment. Still, it's important to ensure your child also continues to build a secure emotional bond with you.
Why It’s Okay to Feel Jealous
Parental guilt and jealousy are common in this situation. You might feel replaced, or wonder if your child prefers their nanny over you.
These feelings are valid—but remember, your child can have more than one secure attachment. Just as children love both parents, they can also love a caregiver without it diminishing your role.
Signs That Attachment May Be Too Strong
While affection is healthy, excessive dependency on the nanny might look like:
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Tantrums or emotional distress when the nanny is off
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Refusal to do basic tasks (e.g., eat, sleep, bathe) unless the nanny is present
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Rejection or emotional withdrawal from you as a parent
If you notice this, it's a cue to gently rebalance the emotional dynamics at home.
Rebuilding Connection as a Parent
1. Increase One-on-One Time
Even short, quality moments can make a big difference. Daily routines like bedtime stories, weekend park visits, or school drop-offs create meaningful shared experiences.
2. Take the Lead in Comforting Your Child
When your child is upset, try to be the first to step in with comfort, even if it’s easier for the nanny to soothe them. It may take time, but consistency helps re-establish emotional dependence.
3. Use Transitions Thoughtfully
Have your nanny help with transitions back to you by saying things like, “Now it’s mummy’s turn to play with you!” This makes the shift feel intentional and safe.
Setting Healthy Boundaries for Everyone
It’s important that the nanny understands and respects your role as the primary caregiver. Clear communication is key.
Tips for Setting Boundaries:
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Ask the nanny to subtly redirect affection to you when you’re present.
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Make sure she steps back during special family moments.
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Ensure she supports your parenting approach and doesn’t override your decisions.
This isn’t about diminishing her role—it’s about keeping emotional balance.
Preparing for Transitions: What Happens When the Nanny Leaves?
In Dubai, nanny turnover happens for many reasons—contracts ending, family relocations, or changing needs. A child who’s overly attached may struggle deeply during this transition.
Here’s how to prepare:
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Start discussing the change early, in a gentle way.
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Offer reassurance that love stays, even when people leave.
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Create goodbye rituals—drawing a card, giving a keepsake, or having a farewell day.
A Word on Hiring Future Nannies in Dubai
When hiring a new nanny in Dubai, emotional compatibility matters just as much as experience. If you’re worried about repeated over-attachment, talk openly during interviews about boundaries, emotional balance, and the nanny’s role in supporting your bond with your child.
Check out our article on the Top 5 Soft Skills Every Great Nanny in Dubai Should Have to help you identify emotionally intelligent candidates.
Final Thoughts
Having a nanny your child adores is something to celebrate—not fear. With a few intentional shifts in time, attention, and communication, you can preserve the strong bond between child and nanny while reinforcing your most important role: being their parent.
Need more support in balancing your nanny-child relationship or hiring the right caregiver? Visit Find My Nanny for expert advice tailored for parents in Dubai.
